This is part 6 of Vile, a novel in progress. Check out the beginning if you feel like it.
Princess Jelena of Latvia was not a very good cook until she met Mortimer Hex. Now she can make chicken fillet, creme brulee, and roasted quail en flambe. Her maize in braised cabbage would amaze you on her worst of days. She makes tortes and tarts of all sorts and starts each of her mornings in the kitchen. She hates it there, but it’s the only room she’s allowed in now that our villain has abducted her and replaced her with a talented Lithuanian actress who is quite happy living the life of a modern princess.
Tonight, for Mortimer and his guest, Jelena has made an experimental fillet min-lobster. Lobsters having no skeletons made this an altogether easy meal to prepare. Despite this fare, the two old friends spend a pleasant dinner together before Mortimer ruins it.
“Say, Yuri, do you mind answering a question?”
Yuri, as always, is on guard. “Maybe.”
“Have you ever thought about what we leave behind on this earth?” Mortimer immediately wishes he could take back the question and ask something innocuous instead.
“Oh no. Not this again.”
Our villain expected this reply, but presses on anyway. “Oh, come on, please?”
“If you want to talk about that sort of thing, enroll in an undergraduate philosophy class.”
“People don’t talk about things the right way in a philosophy class.”
“Literature then!” Yuri stands up and sets his napkin on the table. “Now I’ve gotta head out, Marty. I’ve got to go break a promise I made to a couple drug dealers.”
Maybe old friend is too strong of a term for Yuri. Perhaps he and Mortimer are simply old partners in crime.
Ready for part 7?