Larry glances toward the teleprompter again, distressed to see that he still has no direction. “So… did you, like, buy it?”
“Buy it?” laughs our villain. “Buy it? No, Mr. Brawnson. I stole it from you. I stole it from you while you were busy watching television, getting drunk, and drugging yourself with the myriad legal intoxicants available to you. I stole it while you learned how best to avoid knowledge in school, while you learned to accept what you call the ‘real world’ for the cesspool it is, while you voted for lizards, while you worked your meaningless jobs from nine to five waiting for the releasing embrace of death. To be honest, you made it remarkably easy.”
Mortimer sighs. “Not specifically you, Mr. Brawnson. All of you.” He gestures toward the cameras, hoping the audience will understand. “I’ve become bored with Last Kale, and you’ve seen over the past two days what happens when I get bored.”
This confuses Larry. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that I kill random people, Mr. Brawnson.”
“Which brings me to my ultimate point. I am going to commit one crime every day, and because I own Last Kale, I don’t care if I succeed in any of them. I only care about what you do to stop me.”
“Me?” asks Larry.
Up to this point, Mortimer had not realized how stupid the bulk of humanity really is. No wonder democracy isn’t working out for them. “No, Mr. Brawnson. I mean the people of Last Kale. The people of this country, even. Unless your pathetic city wants to be subject to my whims until I’m too old to get out of bed, someone has to stop me. Good luck.” Mortimer winks at the camera and disappears in a puff of smoke.
This is part 24 of Vile, a novel in progress. Would you like to read the beginning?