Vile part 39

The police are uncomfortable, especially Ryan Summers, whose normal Sunday routine is to sleep in until noon, wake up and eat a bowl of fruit loops with his kids, then watch cartoons for a while. But this Sunday is different, because all his superior officers died at the explosion of the precinct or while storming Dr. Hex’s house last night. Now Ryan Summers is the man in charge, wearing the boots of the Police Commissioner of Last Kale Police Department. Not literally; he can see the last commissioner’s boots on the last commissioner’s feet not thirty feet away. This Sunday, he hasn’t slept at all or eaten any fruit loops, and he sincerely wishes for the diabolical Dr. Hex, tromping across his lawn in a pale-green bathrobe, to be nothing more than a harmless cartoon.

Ryan holds the megaphone to his lips and stammers, “Don’t come any closer, Dr. Hex, or we’ll be forced to fire upon you.”

Mortimer wants to see them try, so he ignores the man and strides up to his fresh new crop of scarecops. He has so many now, he doesn’t know what to do with them. Those are thoughts for another time. “I’d like to have a parlance with you,” he says, pointing at Ryan.

Ryan looks around, hoping that our villain has indicated someone else, but Officers Draper and Connolly edge away on either side of him. “A what?”

“A parlance,” Mortimer repeats, hoping that if he stresses the word enough, this lackwit of a policeman will understand.

Ryan only stares.

“Just get over here and we’ll talk,” Mortimer explains.

“Do you promise not to shoot me?”

“Of course I won’t shoot you. How can I talk to you if you’re dead?”

This evidently makes sense to Ryan, so he hands the megaphone to Officer Connolly before stepping around the police car he’s been hiding behind.

Our villain stops him short. “Bring the megaphone.”

So Officer Connolly passes back the megaphone, and Ryan gingerly steps over the ring of dead policemen before receiving a bullet to the brain and joining them.

“Your mistake was believing I wanted to talk to you at all,” explains Dr. Hex as he pries the megaphone from Ryan’s fingers.

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About CobraQuiz

A political writer.
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